Episodes

My ex contacts me every three or four months. The message is always the same formula, she has something to tell me, but she never says what it is. This episode breaks down textbook avoidant behavior, why she vanished the last time I responded warmly, why she'll never acknowledge what ended us, and the uncomfortable part about why her three-month cycle is perfectly timed to the exact moment my memory finishes editing her back into someone worth answering. And yes, I'm calling it now. She'll be ba...

Politics has become one of the biggest filters in modern dating—but I don't think politics is actually the real issue. Over the last year, I've noticed something changing on dating apps. People aren't just telling you what they believe anymore. They're telling you who they refuse to date before you even say hello. So when did politics stop being something we discussed and start becoming part of our identity? In this episode, I look at how curiosity, open-mindedness, echo chambers, and social ...

A conversation that should have never happened made me realize something I hadn't connected before. Dating apps and matchmaking services are trying to accomplish the same thing, but they're built on completely different incentives. One depends on engagement. The other depends on successful introductions. Once you notice that difference, it's hard to stop seeing it. It's why so many people are giving up on the apps, and why I think we're getting close to the next evolution of online dating.

I did sixty episodes of this podcast without ever showing my face. Then I turned on a camera and everything changed overnight. Comments, DMs, strangers feeling like they knew me — none of it happened for fourteen months and then all of it happened at once. This episode is about why presence does something that photos and audio never can, what it means for your dating profile, and why the thirty seconds of video you haven't posted yet might be the only thing standing between you and a connection...

I've finally had it. This one's a little different. Shirtless showdowns, pickleball pansies, Wimbledon-level tennis jags on a public court, scooter shits, absurdly loud cars, and industrial-strength playground blunts. Tune in for a completely reasonable and measured discussion. Obviously. If you'd rather see the video version, check it out here: https://youtu.be/U_4YlQPOqWg Or here: https://open.spotify.com/show/2DFGqBQLbCS6xvtSGBNGv1?si=A2hfflj2RJCcM3pYPp4Umw

Most people on dating apps can answer a question. Almost nobody can actually play. This episode is about the difference and why it's the only thing I'm still looking for. Check out the video version on YouTube and Spotify! Or just listen to the audio version, gramps.

She was smart, funny, attractive, and easy to talk to. Two days of genuine connection that felt like something real. And then she mentioned something which changes everything. This episode is about the information people strategically withhold in early dating, the specific details that would change everything for the other person if disclosed upfront. Some of it is serious. Some of it is ridiculous. All of it is real. Things that belong in your bio but somehow never make it there.

In this episode, I get uncomfortably honest about my high standards and how often they’re just an excuse. I talk about fast dismissals on the apps, the fear that no one would actually want the full version of me, and the difference between protecting your time and protecting yourself from judgement. If you’ve ever wondered if you’re picky, or just afraid to find out, this one’s for you.

What would you do if a stranger on a dark empty street started telling you what you had for breakfast, your sister's name, your favorite color, things they have no business knowing? That feeling is a version of something happening in dating right now. Someone already has a file on you before you've said a word. They've googled you, stalked your socials, or got the full briefing from a mutual friend. They know you, while you know nothing about them. This episode is about what that information gap...

Dating profiles are full of them. The woman who's been to 44 countries, has three trips already booked this year, mentions travel in her bio four times, and somewhere underneath all of that has a detailed list of what she wants in a partner. Loyalty, presence, and someone who shows up. This episode is about that contradiction, what travel obsession says in a dating profile, what the relationship you'd be signing up for looks like, and why the person with a lot of stamps in their passport is ofte...

Most people believe that jealousy indicates something is wrong with them, that secure, emotionally healthy individuals don't experience it, and the goal is to move past it entirely. This episode argues the other side. Jealousy isn't some character flaw, and dismissing it because someone convinced you that the feeling itself was the problem might be the most costly mistake you make in a relationship. This episode explains the two kinds of jealousy, and one of them is telling you something you sh...

A listener called in about something she couldn't stop doing even though she could see it happening. She'd been telling herself she'd get serious about dating again once she hit a goal. This episode is to anyone else who keeps moving the finish line.

A few months ago I ran an episode of this podcast using a cloned version of my own voice. Nobody noticed. Not one message. Not one comment. This episode is about what that means for radio, for podcasts, for the voicemail sitting on your phone right now in someone's voice you completely trust. At several points in what you're about to hear, the voice isn't mine. I'm not going to tell you where. See if you can find them.

The profiles have gotten worse. Not slightly, significantly. The Instagram handle in the serious relationship bio. The wrong age that somehow always gets entered younger. The AI bio with the em dashes in it. The skyline that doesn't exist. The woman who liked you first and spent the conversation taking shots at you. This episode is about what all of it actually signals, because someone is always paying attention, even when you think they're not.

In this episode, I share the conversation that almost never happened: a rematch with a clear political filter that put me in the ‘no’ category. She pushed past it anyway, and what unfolded forced me to confront my own label-based shortcuts, like the flight attendant rule and almost swiping left on someone 20 miles away in Chicago’s brutal traffic. We explore the difference between healthy behavior filters and dangerous assumptions, the invisible cost of missed connections, and how to ask better ...

You're still on the apps. Still swiping and responding. But something shifted and you know it. The curiosity and patience is gone. You're dismissing people in thirty seconds over things that don't mean anything, and calling it standards. It's burnout. And the problem with staying on the apps when you're already this depleted is that something good could show up right now and you probably wouldn't recognize it.

Being alone can feel peaceful, until something reminds you what connection actually feels like. This episode explores the difference between being okay alone and getting used to it.

Episode 50. One year. I didn't think this show would make it this far. Today I'm not teaching anything or making a case for a position, I'm just talking to you directly. What solo podcasting actually costs, what I got wrong, what kept me going, and where things honestly stand.

Most people assume the rules protect them. Until the day they realize rules only matter when someone has the power to enforce them. This episode is about the moment you realize the world doesn’t operate the way you were told it does.

"I’m not ready” sounds mature, responsible, and self-aware. But what if it’s just a softer way of saying no? In this episode, I unpack what readiness actually means, when waiting is wise, when it’s avoidance, and why nobody ever reaches a point of being fully healed before love.

Ask anyone why their last relationship ended and you’ll hear a very confident story. The problem is, most of those stories aren’t accurate. This episode breaks down how and why breakups get rewritten over time, why nobody thinks they were the problem, and how that mindset will completely wreck future relationships.

Most second dates are lost long before the conversation even matters. In this episode, we’re talking about the small, brutally simple things people notice instantly... hygiene, presentation, manners, effort, and why skipping them silently kills attraction before you ever get a real chance. Nobody tells you this stuff. They just ghost you. So let’s talk about it.

Dating apps didn't stop working because you got older, they stopped working because they were redesigned not to work. The apps realized their most profitable users are the ones who never succeed. This episode breaks down how dating apps shifted from helping you find someone to keeping you just hopeful enough to stay, why the pool is now full of the emotionally unavailable, and why you keep blaming yourself for a system that was never designed for you to win.

When you start dating someone who is emotionally available, it can feel…off. There’s no anxiety, no guessing, and no emotional rollercoaster. They text you back, show up, and don’t disappear. And somehow that can feel less exciting than someone who’s inconsistent, grieving, or still emotionally attached to their past. In this episode, we break down why emotionally healthy people often don't feel as exhilarating at first, why emotionally unavailable people feel magnetic, and how your nervous s...